I was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago. Almost from birth, I worked as a professional performer and entertainer, doing my first television commercial at the age of 3 and by the age of 7 I was performing with the national touring company of a broadway show. These professional experiences gave me a unique perspective on the world and matured me in ways that had me seeing the real world as it is at a very young age.  Although, like every kid, I was inspired with many dreams and ambitions for the future, by mid-high school and early college I began to realize how empty most of those dreams were and for that matter, how empty most of the world's dreams are. During this time I began to write songs to express what I was feeling and how my world outlook was changing. This period of artistic expression culminated with a show I produced with a friend that included selections of these songs and thoughts.

Around that same time I began searching spiritually. Despite the apparent empty pursuits of man, there had to be some reason we were all spinning around this ball of wonder. Though, I was quickly realizing that the world and all its glitter didn't truly satisfy, I knew there had to be something deeper that did...if only I could find it. I began frequenting book stores and camping out in the Philosophy/ Religion aisle. I would spend hours a day reading everything I could get my hands on. The teachings of Buddha, the Koran, Astology, etc. I was determined to find answers. (I had purposely steered clear of the Bible because, as far as I was concerned, I had been there and done that. I grew up going to church now and then and visiting Christian youth groups, so I thought I already knew what the Bible and those who professed to follow it could offer me...)

As I ventured deeper in my quest I became more frustrated and disheartened. It seemed there really were no real answers and that I might as well give up and go out with a bang. I literally began comtemplating some of the seedier ways of life I had steered clear of in my youth so that I might pursue them with reckless abandon and finally be done with it all.  It didn't help that I was living in a tiny "efficiency" apartment (too small to even be called a studio) that was more of a prison cell (and actually had bars on the windows that that faced a brick wall).  I literally had to press my face against the window and crook my head to get the slightest glimpse of the sky above. Depressing to say the least. And, in the summers it became so sweltering you literally thought your head was going to explode. I awoke one night drenched in sweat and called every 24 hour drugstore searching for an air-conditioner (needless to say, they were all sold out). There was one book during this time that helped me hang on by M. Scott Peck called the "The Road Less Traveled". It was a book during my earlier search that I had put down as quickly as I had picked it up. The opening line reads "Life is difficult." At that point in my life, those words were singing my song. 

Because I loathed wasting away in my prison cell, I would often forego sleep and go out walking the streets looking for reason. One such night, late in the summer of 1995, I was out wandering, going nowhere, and I found myself in a local music store. While perusing the books documenting the mostly sad and pitiful outcomes of the lives of many of the famous music artists, a man approached me and asked if I was a musician. We began to talk about music and soon he was telling me about a Christian ministry he was a part of that was geared toward artists, like myself. He invited me to a special church service they were having. Church I figured I had done, but the spiritual artist thing got my attention, so I took his card and moved on. I never really expected to see the guy again and wasn't all that serious about going to the church service, but it was nice to have a talk with someone who had some hope in this dark world and could relate to me on an aritistic and deeper spiritual level.

Needless to say, I didn't go to the service. But, Dave (was his name) continued to pursue a friendship with me. I probably would have blown him off altogether if he didn't seem genuinely interested in me as a person and friend and not just getting me to his church service, and if what he had to share was of no interest to me. 

I eventually did go to a church service with him, thinking, if I at least went once we'd both be satisfied and that would be the end of it. It wasn't. Dave continued to call me and invite me to other events. Again, he wasn't what you might call a "bother". I actually looked forward to our conversations. He was a decent enough guy, so I talked with him but I wasn't convinced that church was really going to do anything for me. In my opinion, BTDT (been there, done that). Besides, most of the experiences I had with anyone "Christian" was that they were pretty fake, hypocritical people. I had been an actor all my life, so I knew a good "act" when I saw one. "And the Academy Award goes to...Bob, in the fourth row. Nice display of adoration, Bob!" So, I welcomed the conversations, but I didn't commit to anything. 

Until finally, Christmastime rolled around. Dave called and invited me to a Christmas party. I was pretty bored, lonely and despondent by this point, not to mention it was the holidays, so I was up for just about anything to get me out of my slump. Noble ambitions aside, I asked if there were going to be any women there (my mind had virtually all but given up on the spiritual at this point). He chuckled and said there would be all kinds of people there and that I should come. So, I went.

I quickly forgot my original impetus when I arrived at the party, however, and met some genuinely great people. People you don't meet every day with a rare spiritual enthusiasm that was infectious. In talking to them individually, I found them to be genuine, down to earth and did not come across as "faking the funk." And when they talked about God and the Bible, it wasn't weird, unusual or "religious"; no glassy-eyed hypnotists. It was something real for them that was an integral part of their lives and had even transformed their lives and made them better. One might think it was a set up to try to "get me saved", but I didn't feel that way at all. They were just having a party and I was just another person there. I felt very included from the beginning, not like an outsider by any means. In fact, some of them were amazed when the next door neighbor stopped by to offer us drugs and I was the one to turn him down and that we were doing just fine without it. I was actually having a great time...the first in a long time...and sex, alcohol and drugs had nothing to do with it. It was spiritual and a better high than anything else could offer. I enjoyed it so much that I was actually the last one to leave. I ended up staying into the wee hours of the night in the room of one of the hosts. A fellow musician, we played music and had one of the deepest and soul-connecting discussions. 

A week later Dave called and invited me to a New Year's Eve party that his church was having. After the Christmas party, it was really a no-brainer. Sure, yeah, more of that? Why not?

The spritual high I was on actually increased at the New Year's Eve party. I don't know what these people were "smokin'", but "pass the pipe" for I was transcending the ugly world I'd been living in and discovering a truly better place. 

New Year's day fell on Sunday that year, so it was natural for Dave to invite me to church the next day and easy for me to accept. 

After an electric and invigorating service, the members had a meeting to discuss their goals for the year. I wanted to learn more about what was giving these people such a zest for life, so I stuck around to find out. 

Before long I was studying the Bible with Dave, though not without some resistance. I mean, I loved sharing in their joy and enthusiasm, but the Bible? Seriously?! Come on. BTDT (Been there, done that.) In college, I had a "One Year Bible" that takes you through the Bible in a year. I had read through it a couple times and all it left me was confused and at best thinking "sure, God, that may have worked in the past, but who's living like that these days? You can't really expect me to live like that!" But, Dave and others helped me see that I'd never really have access to the same euphoric spirit without studying the Bible and applying it to my life. They went hand in hand. So, I gave it a shot.

Well, it was a brand new experience and different than what I expected. Was this the same Bible? I obviously missed some parts, because I was reading and understanding it now in a way I hadn't before. Granted, it was still challenging me to live differently, but perhaps having some real life examples living it out in front of me was spurring me on.

From the moment I started to study it seriously, I saw what I needed to change to have that spiritual freedom I wanted in pretty short order. God had me at "hello", so to speak. So, in about a week I was baptized.

From there, I was on a roll. Within a few months I was leading a Bible discussion group and in less than a year I was working full-time for the church as a staff member leading the campus ministry. I had found it and loved it. The gap in my soul had been filled and not with material possessions, worldly experiences or my own accomplishments, but with God. The emptiness was finally gone for good.

I served in the ministry of that church for around 7 years and learned many good things. 

During this time and following, God nurtured a seed He had planted in my heart to begin a ministry that would reach out to artists and those who don't fit neatly in a "box". So, here we are sharing our lives with you.

If you are searching right now and wondering what it all means and if there is anything worth living for, hopefully you know now you are not alone in your search. I want you to know that we are available to you as a resource of encouragement and enlightenment along your journey. Please, do not hesitate to contact us and take advantage of the ministries we offer on this site. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it was as beneficial to you as it was for me to share it.  May God bless you and encourage you all the days of your life! 

I hope to connect with you, soon!

Matthew Moran

To learn more about Matthew's professional experience, please click here. Click BACK to return to this site.